I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
