apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
