Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
