I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dick very happy bro
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
