Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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