Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
