im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
No subtext here. People are naked.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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