He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
