my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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