She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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