all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
