Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
