you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize