Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
