i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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