I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
