he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
