Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We left the knife in your bed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
