Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize