Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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