just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
