This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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