I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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