he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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