i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
