yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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