Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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