I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
