my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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