All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
