I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
