Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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