The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
