Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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