its not stalking. its research.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
