I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You dont lie about slip and slides
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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