Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
