For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
