I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
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