plz talk dirty to me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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