i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
