I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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