haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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