What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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