i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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