Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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