You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize