at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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