bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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