I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
