Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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