What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
