Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
