i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
