Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
