this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
