Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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