I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
