His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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